On Love...

Today, because it's Valentine's day, I feel it is fitting (and expected?) to talk about that four letter word that gets so many hearts pitter-pattering...

I know, I know... you're already over the mushy-gushy cutesy hearts stuff. That's fine. What I want to talk about is real love. Not fake, over-done, buy me chocolate and flowers love. (Although when in doubt... always a good option!)

Valentine's Day is fun. Everything is pink and red and heart shaped, and it's cute and sweet and generally full of sugar. What's not to love?! It is nice to have a day dedicated to love. But I don't like that people feel forced to show love on that day, when we should be showing love to everyone, every day. 

Josh and I have been together for nearly 8 years now...and married for nearly 6 of those years. We are still figuring things out everyday, but I feel like we have a pretty good handle on this whole love thing, and I wanted to share a few thoughts with you.

When we first started dating, there was romance. It was all about the romance! Flowers, candy, love letters, stuffed animals, special date nights...the whole nine yards. He spoiled me. And it was fabulous! I mean, what girl doesn't love being showered with presents?! It's pretty great!

But as our relationship grew more serious, things changed. It wasn't about that superficial stuff anymore. A deeper, more real love had developed and it was more about the heart to heart chats, sharing dreams, hopes and wishes for the future. Digging into our spiritual lives and really getting to know the deepest parts of each other. Moving away from the "oh my gosh he's so cute I have the biggest crush on him!" to the "oh my gosh, he is such an amazing person and I can't imagine not having him in my life. I think I could marry him!?" It's a big jump. 

Instead of rushing things along and 'being in a relationship' right away, we spent a long time building a friendship that grew into a love that neither of us could have ever imagined, and weren't even looking for to be honest (in fact we were both looking for love in totally different places! Side thought: I should write our love story sometime). And let me tell you, it is so amazing to be in love with your best friend. I am so thankful that we spent that time becoming such good friends before taking it up to the next level. To have someone you can tell anything to, be super weird with, laugh with, cry with, grow with, hope and dream with....it is priceless, and I am thankful everyday for this man. 

Yes, I still get excited when Josh comes home with flowers or special little gifts. But what I love more is the little things he does, everyday. When he does stuff around the house without me asking. When he goes to work everyday, and takes on side jobs to bring home the bacon. The fact that he takes out the garbage and kills bugs for me. When he takes care of me when I'm sick, and commiserates with me when I'm upset (usually after laughing at me because it is almost always something completely ridiculous...see also this post).

Roses from my Valentine :)

You see, love isn't about flowers or chocolates or any of that on special days. Love is about doing the little things for someone, every day because you want to, not because you have to. Remembering to keep the fridge stocked with his favorite (and more expensive) brands of lemonade and orange juice. Washing and ironing his work shirts, even though I don't think they need ironing. Baking his favorite treats and making his favorite dinners. Writing little notes and sticking them random places to find (pockets, wallet, lunchbox). I could go on and on. (My love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service... if you haven't figured that out about me yet :) )

Basically, love is a partnership. Two people in a relationship committed to serving each other everyday.

This is not to say I don't get a little bit wrapped up in the commercialism of Valentine's day, too. I buy the candy and love all the pink. I buy a cheesy card for Josh and write a mushy love letter inside, and he picks out a funny card and writes a few lines to me, and sometimes gets me flowers. We usually go out on a date (before or after the actual day, because heaven forbid Josh be caught out with those love-drunk crazy folks!) and sometimes we do a small gift or buy a humidifier. So yes, we do celebrate Valentine's day, just not over the top.

We try to show each other we love each other 365 days a year...not just February 14th.

All that to say.... Happy Valentine's Day!!
Hope your day is full of love :)