I'm A Planner

I'm a roll-with-the-punches kind of person with certain things, but with most things... I'm a planner.

In fact, I am almost obsessive about it.

(Freak flag is flying high today...get ready)

If I'm out running errands, I will rewrite my list 5 times to make sure every stop I have to make is in the most sensical order it should be in. If I still happen to miss a stop, despite my perfectly planned out list, I will turn around and go to that place instead of just catching it on the way home.

I write my grocery list based on areas of the store and how I like to go through them (produce, deli, frozen, dairy, grocery aisles, and then everything else). If I mess up or it just seems too messy...I will rewrite it until it suits my fancy.

If I'm hanging out with someone, I like to know exactly what time they'll be here or I should be there, what we are going to do, who else will be there, where we're eating/what we're eating, and when I'll be home.

When I cook/bake I have to have all of my ingredients and utensils out before I actually start doing anything. And I read the recipe through at least 4 times before starting, even though I still almost always miss something.

When I clean I make a list of the order I'm going to do it in. It's always the same, but I always have to write it down. Sometimes I try to just do it in my head but it never works out as well. Plus it just feels good to cross things off a list!

Also when I clean, I have to completely finish one task before moving on to the next. Which sounds normal, until I tell you that I have 4 bathrooms and I clean all the toilets first, then the sinks/counters, then the bath/showers, then the floors. Yep. (This is why I'm not a paid maid...although if I was paid hourly I'd make a killing because it takes me forever!)

I get flustered when my plans don't go as I imagine them. It kind of sets the tone for the rest of my day. It's like when you mess up your shower routine (don't even get me started) or put your pants on the wrong leg first. Everything just feels off.

To you, these might be silly things, and things you don't consider worth planning out. I don't totally disagree with you. I didn't grow up this way. In fact, this is a pretty new development, within the last couple years especially. For me, it is just the feeling of control that I crave. It doesn't really do anything to me if my grocery list is out of order or my books aren't alphabetically organized... but it is something that I can control, and that makes me feel better. 

This season in my life is all about realizing my plans are not God's plans. I know that He has a plan and that it is for the best. And it is comforting to know that He is in control, but I am not a patient person by nature. When I want something, I want it now. In this case, what I want is something I have wanted for awhile... and it is starting to drive me a little crazy. 

So since I can't control God's plans and His timing... I look for things I can control. 

Plans. Lists. Cleaning. Organizing.

Hey, it could be worse. I could be emotionally eating my way to 400 pounds and beyond. Thankfully that is something I am learning to shift myself away from. I have turned to food in the past but now I try to remind myself that the more crap I eat...the more I have to run. And I don't like running that much ;)