Dear Husband: I am leaving you for an entire weekend. Please do not let me come home to a messy house! Put that beautiful new dishwasher to work and try your hand at putting your dishes in it for once!
Dear Dishwasher: Mmmm. You are probably my new best friend. Sorry our counters didn't welcome you with open arms, but rest assured, you are wanted here! You are sleek and beautiful and best of all, YOU CLEAN MY DISHES. It's a miracle!
Dear Nicki Minaj: You are the most annoying person on the planet. Ever. Really and truly. American Idol really got it wrong with you. I never know what you are trying to say because a) you have a whiny voice and b) you ramble on about who even knows what before you even talk about the singer. Please go away.
Dear Early Mornings: No offense, but we are not great friends. Today by this time, I have been up since 4:45 and will have made my way over to the east side of the state for the weekend. That is just too much to have accomplished by 9am. I need a nap. Zzzzz....
Dear Husband: I thought maybe you would miss me this weekend, but after finding out you got assigned to ref a soccer game on Saturday I am pretty sure you could care less about anything else! You are so excited it's like you haven't reffed in months. Oh wait... ;) Glad you have something to keep you entertained in my absence! :) Love you mean it.
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