Wait. WHAT?

That is about the only way I can describe this day.

This afternoon, purely on a whim, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I had been feeling a little off the past week, nauseous and tired and sore in odd places. I wasn't really connecting it to possibly being due to pregnancy symptoms, but earlier this afternoon I had been watching a few pregnancy announcement videos on Youtube so I figured, what the heck?! Sometimes I watch those videos and get so excited I trick myself into thinking I am pregnant...so this test was just to bring me back down to earth basically. It happens often and I really thought nothing different would happen this time.

I went upstairs to take the test. Cleaning the bathroom and doing other random things at the same time. Pee in the cup. Dip the test. Set the timer and wait 5 long minutes. Go back to cleaning.

I glanced at the test after about 1 minute (curiosity got the best of me!) Surely that couldn't be right. No. Is it? No way...

Tick tock, tick tock. Wait the full 5 minutes. Nerves out of control. Telling myself this isn't real life, it's just a dream. Don't get your hopes up. Forget cleaning the bathroom, I'm staring at the timer.

5 minutes is finally over (felt like an eternity!). I look at the test in shock. It reads POSITIVE. Check the package to make sure I am reading it right. It says I am. No way!!!!

It must be lying. I take another. Positive. And another. Positive. Never have I had a positive pregnancy test, and never has it had a result instantly. This is not. real. life.

30 minutes, 3 water bottles and 7 tests later... I have 7 positives staring back at me. I still don't believe that it is real life.

Josh walks in as I'm preparing to dip the last test. He sees all my tests lined up and gives me a quizzical look. He asks what I'm doing and what this means. I explain to him how to read the tests... Neither of us know what to say, we just keep staring back at all those positives. "We are maybe excited?" he finally says. "I DON'T KNOW!!" I practically yell. Yes, maybe excited...but not sure what to think yet.

I felt like I was in a dream. My heart was racing but I was oddly calm. Not much of a reaction. I am so used to getting my hopes up and having it be negative that I don't know how to respond to a positive. I always thought it would be this magical moment where I cry and jump up and down and shout it to the mountain tops that I am pregnant... but I am so fearful that it is all just a cruel joke my body is playing on me that I am still trying to keep my excitement to a minimum.

As the night goes on it is starting to sink in more that this might be real. Hoping it is real. Wishing it wasn't the weekend so I could call the doctor and get the ball rolling!

From all the due date calculators I have consulted on the internet (and I have checked a few...) my due date appears to be October 18th.

If this is real, and I truly hope it is, I AM HAVING A BABY!!!!